


three quarters curiosity

by milominderbinder



Series: maia's shameless fic a day in the month of may [13]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Awkward questions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 16:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1611254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milominderbinder/pseuds/milominderbinder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carl has a few questions about anal sex.</p><p>Naturally, he chooses to direct them to Mickey over breakfast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	three quarters curiosity

When Mickey wakes up in the morning, it’s to the sun streaming in obnoxiously through the blinds, and Ian’s arms wrapped around his waist.

As he blinks his eyes open and yawns, he thinks that actually, he’d be quite happy to stay there all day.  Maybe the rest of his goddamn life, if he’s honest.  Ian’s sheets smell nice, like the cheap detergent the Gallaghers use, and Ian’s chest rising and falling against Mickey’s back _feels_ nice, and the room is quiet, only the faintest of background noises drifting in from outside and downstairs, which is also just - nice.  It’s really all kinda perfect.

But, of course, Mickey has things to do.  Sometimes he wonders what it’d be like to be a rich fucker who didn’t have to work, could just lie about in bed all day, fucking and dozing and occasionally drinking champagne or some shit.  But that fantasy doesn’t do him much good now, when he’s still poor as shit and needs to get to work; he reluctantly tears himself out of a still-sleeping Ian’s arms, and begins the slow plod down the Gallagher stairs, wiping sleep out of his eyes.

When he gets down into the kitchen, Carl, Debbie and Liam are sat around the table.  Debbie’s feeding Liam a yogurt while texting, and Carl’s attacking his eggs with more vigour than strictly necessary.  Business as usual, then.

Mickey doesn’t even spare them a second glance as he crosses to the fridge, grabs a cold poptart and pours himself a glass of orange juice - he’s been at the Gallagher house for a while now, and he’s pretty sure he can count himself as one of the family, so his being there isn’t exactly a performance anymore.  Once he’s gathered up his breakfast, he sits down at the table.  He doesn’t even notice Carl staring at him thoughtfully, until he takes his first sip of juice, and -

“Does fucking a vagina feel different from fucking a butt?”

\- promptly spits it out all over the table.

“ _CARL!”_ Debbie screeches, dropping Liam's yoghurt and spinning to face her brother with an incredulous expression.

 _“What_?” Mickey asks, his mouth hanging open, still trying to force his brain to process Carl’s question.  It’s seven forty in the morning - he _must_ have heard that wrong.

“That’s what gay guys do, right?” Carl checks.  He sounds fucking _casual_.  “Nobody would really tell me, but I saw it in this video when I was with the foster gays.”

Mickey squeezes his eyes tight shut for a second.  He can’t actually _believe_ this kid.  He wonders for a moment what normal families talk about over breakfast, and if he could maybe send Carl over to get some pointers, before remembering that he doesn't actually know any families he'd class as  _normal._

“Yeah, that’s what they - that’s what we do.”

“Well, so, does it feel different?  Like… texture wise?”

Mickey shoots a glance over to Liam, who is bouncing about happily in his high chair.

“Should he be hearing this shit?” he asks uncomfortably.  He’s not even really trying to stall from answering Carl’s question - he just has a feeling if anyone in this house is gonna screw up the baby, it’s gonna be him, and he’d rather avoid that if possible.  He doesn’t have a clue what kids should and shouldn’t hear.  It’s not like his parents ever filtered anything _he_ was exposed to, but then, he turned out fucked up.  So.

“He’s got _brain_ damage,” Carl says, rolling his eyes, clearly not as concerned as Mickey.  “Doesn’t understand a word we’re saying.   _So?”_

He stares at Mickey, eyes wide and expectant.  Even Debbie, despite her outrage at Carl’s initial question, is clearly waiting for the response, though she’s poking at her cereal to try and make it seem like she’s not paying attention.  Jesus fucking Christ, this family is gonna be the death of him.  Mickey sighs.  
  
“I wouldn’t fuckin’ know.”

“Wait, you’ve never fucked a chick?  Thought you had, like, a kid.”

“I’ve fucked chicks.  Just never - not a dude, like that.”

“Wait, so does that mean -” Debbie says, suddenly, reluctantly drawn into the conversation.

“You’re the one _taking_ it?” Carl interrupts.  His eyes shoot wide open.  He leans over on his elbows to get closer to Mickey.

“So fuckin’ what?” Mickey asks, scowling and taking another gulp of his juice to hide his discomfort.

“Why would you _do_ that?”

“I dunno, why does anyone do anything?  It feels good.  ‘S also _none_ of _your_ fuckin’ business.”

“What about when Ian’s away?  Do you like, stick other stuff up there?  Dude, have you got a _butt plug?”_

Mickey’s glad he hadn’t taken another sip of juice.  He would’ve shot it straight back out again.

“What?  Dude, no, I don’t have a - I just jerk off like everyone else, fuck, I ain’t sticking no plugs up my butt.”

“Not even like, a dildo?”

Mickey pauses.  He’d be lying if he denied that.  But then, he’s never actually had much of a problem with lying, and he has _no_ desire to discuss what he likes to stick up his butt with his boyfriend’s younger siblings, no matter how interested they seem.

“Can we stop talking about this already?” he asks, a deflection.  Carl furrows his eyebrows.

“Why won’t anyone talk to me about butt sex?” he asks, stabbing his fork into his eggs grumpily.  “I just wanna know, like, for _science.”_

“How old are you again?”

“Twelve, why?”

Mickey pauses for a second, then rolls his eyes, picks up his poptart.

“Wait three years and then buy your girlfriend a strap on,” he says. “You’ll see what the fuckin’ fuss is about.”

\--

It’s that evening, when the whole Gallagher family is sat around the table, laughing and chatting and wolfing down spaghetti, that the conversation comes back to bite Mickey in the ass.

Because when there’s a lull in conversation, everyone focusing on their food rather than on each other, Liam starts wriggling about in his high chair, bored.

“Dildo!” he calls out suddenly, grinning like he thinks he’s done something good.  Fiona drops her fork with a _clang._ “Dildo, dildo, butt plug!”

The whole room is silent for a long second, everyone looking at each other, eyes wide, mouths open.

Then Carl bursts out laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> for the fic-a-day-in-may challenge, and the anon prompt on tumblr: _how about carl asking mickey questions about gay sex_
> 
> is this the dumbest fic i have ever written? very possibly. i kinda like it anyway.
> 
> send me more prompts: [mickeymilk.tumblr.com](http://mickeymilk.tumblr.com).


End file.
